20 things to know when you’re in your 20’s, by yours truly.
1. Find something you’re passionate about and never let it go.
In the mist of your day-to-day life, filled with responsibilities, obligations and commitments, don’t loose yourself. Remember to always set aside time for yourself – to let go, to reflect or just for peace.
2. Keep a tight circle.
Find a (few) dependable and reliable friend(s) and never let them go. See people for who they are and not what you want them to be. Drop the countless “schmoes” you associated with or grew up with in the past. Not everyone that surrounds you is going to make you better. Accept that. Don’t allow people to hold you back. You should be around those that big you up and build you up, those who inspire you, those you respect and respect you the same
3. Don’t forget that you don’t need anyone else’s validation for anything you do.
This is your life – do what you want, with whom you want, and go wherever you want to go. You only get one life, don’t fill it with regrets or “what-ifs.” You shouldn’t care what anyone else might think or say. Don’t live for the approval of others. FIND HAPPINESS.
4. Know when to shut your mouth. You don’t know everything and never will.
No one likes a pretentious douche. Seriously, although your parents may still think you’re the prodigy child, accept the fact that you don’t know it all. You can still learn so much from those you may least expect it from. Everyone, from all walks of life, have experiences and knowledge to offer.
5. Know your age, temper and when you should walk away.
Stop judging, hating, bullying or getting into petty fights with others. No one’s got time for that. Your temper tantrum days should be long over. Antagonizing others and putting others down will not build you up any higher; rather, it will do just the opposite. Learn and master self-control.
6. Learn, understand and value the importance of trust and loyalty.
In both your personal and professional life, these values will go a long way. It is rare to find people with these traits, especially these days, so when you find someone who trusts you and remains loyal to you, do the same for them and treasure those individuals. The likelihood of you finding many like this is slim to none. We all need someone we can confide and trust in, and should simultaneously be willing to be that person for others. Be mindful of everything you do and the repercussions of your actions.
7. Pick up a newspaper every once in a while and realize there’s an entire world going on outside of your own.
Although most times you may feel like your problems are most important and your struggles, obstacles and goals are all that exist, don’t forget about the world outside your own. Pay attention to the war, poverty and advocacy that surrounds us, in our society, in our nation and in our world. You don’t have to try and absorb it all, but should have some insight into what’s happening in current events.
8. Sometimes less truly is more.
Seriously. You don’t always have to explain yourself, you don’t always have to put on make-up or dress up, you don’t have to try to please or impress everyone and you don’t always have to take a front seat. Sometimes, by saying less or doing less, you’re actually saying more and doing more than you ever imagined.
9. Take care of yourself.
Start eating healthier and trying to implement some type of exercise in your life. Take the stairs instead of the elevator! Every step makes a difference. Your metabolism is going to start slowing down – be mindful of what you put into your body and how you take care of it.
10. Chivalry is not dead.
It may be rare, but it is not dead. Gentlemen, this is mostly for you (but the moral/social code applies to all). Chivalry will go a long way these days and will be appreciated, due to the lack thereof. Always try to act like a gentlemen or classy lady. Act appropriate and always be mindful of your audience – this will determine how others will perceive you.
11. Enjoy reality more than your online life.
Realize that you’ll probably enjoy things more if you weren’t on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram recording every second of life. Instead of capturing the moment – live in it, enjoy it, and appreciate it and those around you. We get it, you want to show off your belongings/vacations/parties, etc., but those who matter are either with you or already know about it, and who cares about the opinions of those who don’t. Get off your phone, get off your computer, stop creeping on the “what-ifs” of your past and the “maybes” of your future, and stop trying to promote yourself or complain to people who don’t care. Go interact with people, embrace those who surround you and stop wasting time online. Your days are numbered here, whether you like it or not, don’t forget it.
12. Learn to let go.
You need to learn to let go of the past and the mistakes you made. Learn from the past, but don’t let it haunt you. Don’t forget it, but don’t allow it to consume you. We grow from our past. In addition, learn to let go of your teenage tendencies. Come to the realization that you’re getting too old for certain things, to be partying in certain ways, or be in particular places – use your discretion.
13. Save! Save! Save!
Stop spending money you don’t have, on things you don’t need. There comes a time when you must accept the fact that it should no longer be a priority to go out partying every weekend or attending every festival. Think about your future, the long run and the bigger picture. Spend your money wisely.
14. Get a job and don’t forget to give back.
There is no longer an excuse for being unemployed. Nothing should be below you. Work towards a goal and believe in yourself. We all have to start somewhere, but the key is that we have to start. And in the mist of everything else going on, don’t forget to give back. There’s always someone worse off than you. Whether it’s volunteering, donations, passing along hand-me-downs, or even just lending a listening ear – do something for the greater good – make a positive impact on others, even if they’re strangers. We can always give back something; we all have something to offer.
15. A baby is not an accessory.
Seems to be a trend these days. My advice? Wait until you’re ready, willing, able and prepared to take care of another living being – this entails being able to care for yourself first (financially, mentally, physically). Think things through. Bringing a child into the world is a life altering event and not just another prop for your Instagram photos.
16. Do things for you and no one else.
No one cares about what you’re doing or where you’re going. You’re at an age where people aren’t going to check up on you or continuously nag you to do the right thing. Take initiative and stride for something more to better yourself. If you don’t do it, no one’s going to do it for you.
17. You should own a suit.
Yes, a suit. It will be needed, whether it is for professional reasons, personal engagements, etc. At this age you should have at least one well-tailored suit; you’ll thank me later.
18. Respect.
Respect your elders, associates, peers and all other walks of life. Realize that everyone has his or her own story and struggles. Don’t pass judgment on others. We all see the world differently and hold a different perspective.
19. Face the facts.
There are people that are smarter than you, wealthier, etc. – but that doesn’t make them any better than you as an individual or you less than them. You are the choices you make, the attitude you have, and the things you do.
20. Smile.
It’s not all bad. With age comes experience and knowledge. Learn from your past, appreciate your present and look forward to your future. And maintaining a smile through it all with your head up can make all the difference.
Esse Quam Videri 